Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
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You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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