she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
