high people should be assigned attendants
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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