that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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