yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
