Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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