i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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