this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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