Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
