That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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