Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
