I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
