I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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