We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
then he tried to convert me to islam
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
