Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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