SEEEEXXX PLEASE
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
