i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
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we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
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Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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