marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
