RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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