Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
