guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
