Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
