My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
