If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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