after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
