Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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