Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Help. Why am I so naked?
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