and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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