So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
