3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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