Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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