Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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