I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
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Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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