I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
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Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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