I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
