rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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