i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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