Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something

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(416): View more from Ontario

He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.

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(303): View more from Colorado

okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.

(785): View more from Kansas

again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.

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Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same

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(239): View more from Florida

all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut

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(517): View more from Michigan

I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.

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(914): View more from New York

Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.

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(415): View more from California

Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.

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