so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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