I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
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I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
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I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.