Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?

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(480): hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener? http://tfl.nu/98l9

Replies (77) Good night (5560) Bad night (603)
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(907): View more from Alaska

He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.

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(907): He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED. http://tfl.nu/5p57

Replies (10) Good night (2490) Bad night (832)
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(253): View more from Washington

My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?

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(253): My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable? http://tfl.nu/rdbs

Replies (13) Good night (2763) Bad night (764)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm in love with you.

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

huh?

(860): View more from Connecticut

Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.

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(860): I'm in love with you. (1-860): huh? (860): Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it. http://tfl.nu/in9v

Replies (14) Good night (3174) Bad night (744)
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(518): View more from New York

my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks

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(518): my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks http://tfl.nu/8135

Replies (11) Good night (4421) Bad night (1078)
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(815): View more from Illinois

If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again

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(815): If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again http://tfl.nu/myb5

Replies (3) Good night (1577) Bad night (2622)
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(540): View more from Virginia

casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?

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(540): casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks? http://tfl.nu/0uf1

Replies (16) Good night (2397) Bad night (1368)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.

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(740): Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward. http://tfl.nu/xwna

Replies (3) Good night (851) Bad night (1744)
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(208): View more from Idaho

My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with

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(208): My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with http://tfl.nu/1h68

Replies (5) Good night (1620) Bad night (655)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.

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(540): I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night. http://tfl.nu/isgy

Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (835)
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(519): View more from Ontario

There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.

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(519): There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause. http://tfl.nu/1uor

Replies (0) Good night (614) Bad night (673)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...

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(403): So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine... http://tfl.nu/hixx

Replies (12) Good night (3925) Bad night (808)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!

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(502): Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors! http://tfl.nu/muzx

Replies (3) Good night (1024) Bad night (482)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck

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(816): I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck http://tfl.nu/awst

Replies (2) Good night (278) Bad night (814)
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(647): View more from Ontario

The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.

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(647): The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud. http://tfl.nu/bog9

Replies (2) Good night (448) Bad night (259)

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