I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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