my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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