rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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