Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Too much gin, very little bucket
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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