CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
