Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm like, not good at living.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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