Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
