coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
