question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
