He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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