I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I pour the whiskey from now on
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
