either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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