im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
COCAINE IS GR8
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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