Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
