he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
