i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So many bounce houses so little time
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
