Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
