This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It's shark week go big or go home
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