the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I look excited, but its just a facade.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
