Cold hands, warm shart.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
