it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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