somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
