If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
