Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
