Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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