Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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