garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
