I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I still have a little drunk in my system
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
