a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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