I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
