i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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