at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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